Confessions of a 67-Year-Old Lululemon Virgin

As I get ready to leave on my annual wellness weekend with my son, Justin, I’ve been thinking about where this whole crazy journey started.

It was 2023.

Justin had invited me to join him at a very fancy wellness resort on the island of Lanai, Hawaii.

A wellness resort.

I had never been to a wellness resort.

I had never lifted weights.

I didn’t know what one actually did at a wellness resort.

But I knew one thing with absolute certainty:

I HAD NOTHING TO WEAR.

And so began my first fitness challenge.

Not a squat.

Not a lunge.

Not a plank.

Lululemon.

I wandered into our local Lululemon store with absolutely no idea what I was doing.

I was 67 years old, weighed about 185 pounds and wore a size 16–18.

And I had never purchased a single item from Lululemon.

I was, quite literally, a Lululemon virgin.

This became even more apparent the moment I walked through the door.

I found myself surrounded by 30-something women who appeared to all be somewhere between a size 2 and a size 4.

Naturally, I began studying them.

Apparently there was a uniform.

Ankle-length leggings.

VERY tight ankle-length leggings.

Matching little bra tops.

No-show socks.

Perfectly clean athletic shoes.

And not a lump or bump anywhere.

I remember looking at those leggings and thinking, Well, sure. Those look fantastic when there is absolutely nothing underneath them that needs to be hidden.

And can we talk about the shoes?

They were WHITE.

Not off-white.

Not “I used to be white before I went to the gym.”

WHITE.

Pristine.

Ladies, are we actually working out in these shoes?

Because my understanding was that exercise involved sweating.

Possibly dirt.

Apparently I had a lot to learn.

Fortunately, a lovely Lululemon employee approached me and asked if she could help.

I explained that I was going to a wellness resort in Hawaii and had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to wear.

Then I confessed:

“I’m a Lululemon virgin.”

She laughed.

I liked her immediately.

She brought me leggings.

And more leggings.

And tops.

And more tops.

There was stretching.

There was tugging.

There was turning sideways in the mirror.

There was sucking in my stomach.

There was the occasional moment of wondering whether I would ever get myself back OUT of the leggings.

Eventually, I emerged victorious.

I left Lululemon with two pairs of leggings, two very conservative workout tops and, naturally, a Lululemon ball cap.

Because apparently the hat was going to convince everyone at the wellness resort that I knew what I was doing.

My wallet, however, needed immediate medical attention.

HOW CAN WORKOUT CLOTHES COST THIS MUCH?

I hadn’t even lifted a weight yet and fitness was already expensive.

Off to Lanai I went.

And that trip changed my life.

It was my first wellness resort.

My first experience lifting weights.

My first glimpse into a world that, at 67, I honestly never imagined would become such an enormous part of my life.

If you’ve followed this blog, you know what happened next.

I came home.

I kept going.

And during that first year, I lost more than 55 pounds.

Which was wonderful.

Mostly.

Because there was one unexpected tragedy nobody had warned me about:

My very expensive Lululemon clothes no longer fit.

Do you have any idea how painful it is to get rid of workout clothes when you remember EXACTLY what you paid for them?

I wanted to lose weight.

I just hadn’t realized I was also going to lose my investment portfolio.

But the weight kept coming off.

And the sizes kept changing.

For those first couple of years, it seemed like every three or four months I needed another size.

16–18.

Then smaller.

Then smaller again.

And somewhere along the way, I learned an extremely important lesson about fitness:

You do not have to spend $100 on leggings to do a squat.

Enter my new personal trainer:

Amazon.

Today, my closet contains more workout clothes than regular clothes.

I’m not exaggerating.

Apparently when you go to the gym regularly, you need workout clothes for every possible occasion.

Leg day.

Upper-body day.

StairMaster day.

Physical therapy day.

Cute-but-not-too-cute day.

“I might run into someone I know” day.

And, of course, “these were only $16 on Amazon” day.

In fact, some of my favorite workout shorts cost $16 on Amazon.

Sixteen dollars.

I like them better than shorts I’ve bought at high-end retailers.

They wash beautifully.

They fit.

They survive workouts.

And when I decide I need them in black, navy, gray, pink and three colors that are basically indistinguishable from one another, I don’t have to refinance the house.

So here I am, three years later, getting ready for another wellness weekend with Justin.

And I can’t help but smile when I think about that 67-year-old woman walking nervously into Lululemon.

She was 185 pounds.

She had never lifted a weight.

She didn’t know what to wear.

She was intimidated by the size-2 women in their tiny bra tops and spotless white shoes.

And she had absolutely no idea what was about to happen.

Today?

I know my way around a gym.

I know what a deadlift is.

I know what a plank is.

I know what a lunge is.

I also know that I still hate lunges.

Some things don’t need to change.

And somewhere along the way, workout clothes went from something I didn’t know how to buy to something that has completely taken over my closet.

So as I pack for this year’s trip, I have just one thing to say:

Thank you, Lululemon, for getting me started.

You were there for me when I was young and innocent and didn’t know any better.

But most importantly…

Thank you, Amazon.

Because apparently fitness really can change your life.

And you can get free shipping.